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Feisty Thoughts: Occupy Your Space

I’ve taken a lot of time for reflection in the beginning of this year. December was a busy month, with social obligations every other day, so by the time the New Year came I was ready to disengage and just spend some time at home to get grounded. In my reclusive state, I spent a good amount of time thinking about what my goals were for this year, and although I have a bevy of surface level goals, I wanted to take this year to closely pay attention to how I take up space in this world.

As many women have experienced, there is a timidness of how we were raised. To this day I catch myself shutting down if I’m challenged by a male or a person in charge, even when I know I am in the right. There have been multiple times when I have consciously made myself physically as small as possible so that the person sitting next to me can continue to spread there body and take up as much space as they wish, just so I didn’t have to confront the situation. There are numerous times when walking down the sidewalk I’ve had to pull some Tetris maneuvers just so someone else could continue taking more space walking down the side walk. I have learned to ebb and flow in between others perceived self-assertive natures.

But there comes a time, when looking at photos and wondering why I didn’t stand up as straight as possible even if I would have been towering over others in my 6 foot stance in heels, that you start to question why shouldn’t I take up the natural space I have been given? Why should I make myself smaller so that others notice me less? Why shouldn’t I walk down the streets, claiming a reasonable amount of area for myself with pride and confidence? Why should I let others, who either have the courage or arrogance make me feel less than I should with just body language?

So I have decided that this is the year I stand tall and hold my ground. When I’m at the gym, in the perceived boys lifting area doing squats, I refuse to look down timidly almost asking forgiveness for being in that area. When I’m walking down the street, I refuse to pull some back bending motion just because a group of rude people decide to walk three across with no consideration for traffic moving in the opposite direction. And when I’m taking photos, I will stand tall, no matter what the height of those in the photo with me. Unless we’re all sitting down or doing some cute pose. Because who wants to be that asshole?

So here is my challenge to you. Take up your space. Even if you are in a demographic that society has continuously tried to deem lesser than. No, ESPECIALLY if you are in a demographic that society is trying to keep down. Hold your head high, and know that you are 1 in 4 billion. Occupy the space that you have been given.

 

 

*Photo by Vixen Photography*

Feisty Thoughts: What Having A Child Taught Me About Burlesque

As I sit here on my 5.5 hour flight heading to Boston for the Great Burlesque Exposition, I am left with plenty of time to reflect on the past and present, while looking into the future.

One of the most life changing things that has happened to me was having my daughter. Now this isn’t going to be a post about ohmawgawd my baby made a cute sound and I’m forever in awe of her cuteness. Although I could write a book on my mommy faux pas, not everyone has the ovary twitch of babies. Instead, my daughter has helped me learn and continue to learn important life lessons that have in turn helped me become a better performer and ultimately a better person.

Lesson 1 – Patience/Jealousy
I put these two together because for me, they go hand in hand. For a long time, I would consider jealousy a normal part of my being. I was jealous over opportunities given to advance, opportunities that others were able to take, because their life allowed them that path, and of others natural abilities. Sometimes it gave me drive, but mostly it ate at my soul and made me a very ugly person which ultimately shows.

There were countless things that kept me stagnic, work, school, pregnancy, but what I realized was that my jealousy stemmed from my impatience to get to my goals fast. This makes for a very unenjoyable ride and at one point had me considering leaving burlesque completely.

When I had my daughter, I had to learn to be on somebody else’s schedule. I had to put another humans life above my own, which for as many big personalities that populate the burlesque scene, we all can understand that it was a difficult transition to make. She taught me that as cliche as it sounds, stolen straight from the realms of pinterest, it wasn’t about the destination, but about the journey. Which leads me to my second lesson…

Lesson Two- Enjoy the Small Moments
Progressing in any art form takes skill and dedication. No one can progress if they don’t take inventory of the small victories conquered. Have you made it a point to take classes and evolve your skill set? Then take a moment to be proud of yourself for that act that looked and felt amazing. Have you been making an effort to expand your costumes and make them a spectacle worth viewing? Then whole heartedly accept someone’s compliments on your work.

My daughter is only mine for a short while. Even in the maddening frenzy before a show, I’ve learned to enjoy her sweet moments and let life unfold as it does. In the end, its all about enjoying the life you create.

Lesson Three- Improvise
Shit goes wrong… Often. We never have enough practices before a big reveal. There are always going to be improvements that could be made. Just go with the flow and have a back up plan, or at least back up moves that you could throw into a routine.

I feel like shit going wrong with a child does not need much explanation.

My daughter is a source of inspiration and I am grateful for her everyday. I will continue to reach my goals and dreams because I never want her to associate becoming a mother as being the end of a woman’s life. Much love to all! If you have any questions or just want a burlesque cheerleader, email me at evamaegarnet@gmail.com.

A New Road

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

 

I am now starting a new journey and am excited to see where this road will take me. Sometimes we must make tough decisions to reach the dreams that we hold so dear.

xoxo Eva Mae